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Here are 5 practices I’m taking on to bring back the love

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As the buds of spring began to replace the chill of winter, I made my best decision yet in my short Medium career. I took the month of March off of the platform. Did you miss me? I missed you!

Though I had read the writing on the wall, Ev’s concerning March 24 “Editorial Team Update” validated my analysis. Medium is in a state of upheaval and writers are paying the price. …

How are the coders not blogging about all of this?! I am dying to hear first hand accounts from the poor programmers working to charm the wiley Medium algorithm beast.

Because polite sex isn’t hot…

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The man who taught me to scream in bed is the perfect blend of tame and wild. He is a patriarch, proud father of sons, proud son of a proud father. He comes from an unbroken line of nomadic Bedouin patriarchs. He knows how to hold a woman and love a woman. He does so in ways that blasted right through my feminist ideas about “toppling the patriarchy.” I’ve never felt more cherished than when I find myself in his embrace.

The first time he scooped me up in his strong arms and took me…

Wonderful wisdom here, but I'm especially impressed by your graphics! Thank you, Tanvi.

Is it ethical to apply best-practices from the world of sales to dating?

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Dating gets so much easier when we are honest with ourselves about what it is and what it isn’t. Whereas relationships are about care, love and generosity, getting to that stage of the game is often more about hard work than fun. Meeting new people can be stressful, and transforming a stranger into a fixture in one’s life is down right unnatural. Success requires effort.

As a single woman and past CEO, I relate to first dates as interviews, plain and simple. I place almost no stock in the various digital chirps we’ve sent one another, no matter how cute…

Oh, my dear friend. You are breaking my heart of late, and I don't know which piece is more piercing, this one or yesterday's. Among other things, you've helped me to better understand the dynamics of pen name and being seen, progressing from our inner sense of self, which is so close up and distorted that it is more blind than sighted, followed by those persona that are contextual, linked to the various real-world roles we play in our real world bodies, then the construct self, which is closest to our becoming. You have long been a butterfly in this…

I am so moved by this heartfelt comment and your kindest words. I wonder what would happen if you shared the article and your comment with your wife...? What might she say.

By way of beginning, I'll offer two suggestions. First, Sensual founder and managing editor Elle Beau ❇︎ writes extensively about how desire functions in women and how the truth of it is often not what we'd expect. When you cite your many years together as the possible cause for your wife's experience, Elle's work comes to mind for me. I recommend it.

Second, I am someone who believes…

Here’s what I’ve been up to

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Falling in love with writing on Medium a little over a year ago began with the freedom that comes with embracing a pen name. Even before all of you, she became my new favorite person and best friend. I sat to write each day to get to know her better.

It did not take long before she began to make friends.

These friendships were like none in my non-virtual life, rooted as they were in liberated honesty. Finally, all of the bullshit was out of the way. We writers are here to speak truth, come what may. It is glorious. …

10 commandments of optimum health

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As a child, I learned how to fly.

I was a competitive gymnast who trained 30 hours/week. In that setting, I learned that my body could do almost anything with hard work and determination. I stood on my hands for 10-minute stretches, did 1,000 sit-ups at a time, and flew through the air, twisting and flipping in ways unimaginable to most.

Gymnastics taught me how to feel vitally alive. But, it wasn’t until I was diagnosed with a once-fatal genetic disease, that I learned the key to cultivating my own sense of vitality.

I have a genetic disease called Gaucher. It’s pretty rare, only occurring in 1 in…

How to pick your bliss

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In In the last few years, I’ve been doing a great deal of fucking. It has been glorious. At first, it was a way to reclaim my freedom, then my body, then my self. The more I opened to it, the more it became a journey of re-wilding, one I believe we all must take.

There is something so liberating about the kind of sex that is primarily physical.

Once questions of safety and parallel expectations are resolved, sometimes, one can best access the modes of playfulness that lead to deep pleasure in casual sex.

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